In my opinion, there are two important aspects in having a fulfilling life besides the routines of family, friends, and job. The first of those is having a goal. It might be a career goal, or a personal goal of some type, but a goal is a very useful thing. Several of my students have had career goals. Fei Fei always wanted to be a research scientist. Preeti and Aishwarya want to be doctors. Having a goal makes a person work harder, and also gives a focus to one’s motivation and work besides the typical “always doing one’s best.”

A cautionary note though regarding goals: while one is striving to achieve one’s goal, a person should be sure to enjoy the path they are taking to get there. Otherwise, if they do not achieve the goal, what have they accomplished if they subjected themselves to years of deprivation and little pleasure without succeeding? But if one enjoys the path, then those years are not wasted under any circumstances. I guess I am an example of that. Ever since I was in high school my goal was to be a professional writer of fiction. I devoted many hours and many years toward achieving that goal, and never sold a single piece of fiction. But I enjoyed both the writing I did, and the reading and research relevant to it, so I do not feel that a single minute of all that time was wasted. A side effect of striving for my goal was achieving what, to me, was a lesser goal of publishing two books of nonfiction. That was also satisfying, even though to my mind it was not really achieving my goal.

A second aspect of life which brings fulfillment is having a passion for some non-career-related activity. I know many people like that. Passionate runners, or artists, or sports enthusiasts, or amateur musicians, or movie lovers, or book lovers (yeah, that’s me!). Any interest which gives a person the type of continued excitement which raises their life above the routine and the boring is a valuable interest to have. Take away my books and my writing and I have no idea what I would do with my life outside of school-related activities. I can only spend so much time chatting with my friends or–God help me!–watching television!

Too many people lead dull, routine lives, because they have no purpose other than chasing the almighty buck or striving for the highest level of material comfort possible. Sure we all need money and material comforts, but are those really the purpose of life? For me they are not.

I returned to school yesterday, and while my back is still bothering me, I am no longer an 80-year-old man unable to walk normally or bend at all. I still need to be careful, but the pain is much reduced and thankfully I am able to carry on fairly normally.

Of course, having missed an entire week of school, I am waaaay behind in my end-of-the- marking period chores, the bane of all teachers! Although I am supposed to hand in 2nd marking period grades tomorrow morning, I am giving my last test of the marking period to 4 of my classes tomorrow and Thursday, so I will hand in my grades Monday as part of the “grade verification” process. My authorization for this came last Monday morning, when I was lying on a cot in the nurse’s office, virtually unable to move, my blood pressure slowly rising from its low point of 96/62, when the principal ordered me to take the next two days off, stating, “It’s not the end of the world, you know,” to which I replied, “No, it’s the end of the marking period.” He laughed and gave me permission to hand in my marking period grades as verifications (which I am sure will not please the Guidance Department, but I am a bit of a rebel who rarely pleases them anyway).

And I am trying harder than ever to stay calm. My chiropractor told me 19 years ago that stress was the primarily cause of my lower back pain, and this back strain was likely no exception–which the x-rays tend to support, although I have not yet gotten back the results of the other tests my medical doctor send me for. It is difficult to relax with my difficult teaching load this year, but I have a very enjoyable home life, some fabulous students who spend lots of time chatting with me both in the Math Lab and online, and a great life overall. So I’ll just have to try a tiny bit harder!

This is the worst my back has been since 19 years ago when it flared up for the first time and I missed an entire week of school. I have not been back to school yet this week either, because it is still too painful to drive all the way to PHS or to stand on my feet teaching all day. Unless it improves considerably by tomorrow, I will miss this entire week as well. I really feel guilty missing an entire week of school, and the pressure it puts on my Advanced Placement and Honors students who are not only learning new material themselves, but will not get their end-of-the- marking period tests this week. Hopefully I will be able to give those tests next week before final grade verifications are due, since some of the students really need another test.

It is gratifying how many people have sent me good wishes either via email or IM messages, and I would like to thank a few more of them here: Rich S, Naeema, Eric B, Meghan, Winston, and Wenjing (who along with Aishwarya and Preeti checks in with me every day). Thanks all of you!

I think I scared half of PHS to death this morning. My back went out before school started while I was helping students in the Math Lab. The spasms were so painful that my blood pressure dropped to 96/62 and I fainted. I was sitting with the students at the time and, fortunately, Megan was there to take control of the situation. Immediately she summoned the principal and the nurse. The nurse wheeled me to her office and kept me there until my blood pressure stabilized, while the principal phoned Jean who drove to PHS with Andy to pick me up and take me home (while Andy drove my car back).

After Jean and I left school, we stopped at my chiropractor’s office who treated me. This is the second time this year my back has gone out, which is much more frequent than usual. My chiropractor wants me to go see my doctor for tests to be sure the reason is truly stress, and not some physical reason so I made an appointment. My back is very painful right now, but I hope it improves enough that I can return to school this week.

I feel grateful to all my friends who were there to help me out this morning, including Megan, Mike, Tony, Adrianne, Maria, and Damaris, as well as Dom and Sneha who phoned me at home this afternoon to make sure I was all right, and students Aishwarya, Preeti, Manal, and Nini, who all sent me email asking how I feel. I feel badly for all my students who were in the Math Lab and probably panicked a little bit at the show I was putting on for them. I’ll apologize to them when I return to school.

I actually have a fairly light workload for this upcoming weekend. Tonight Jean and I went with my parents to a local restaurant called The Pump House. Usually we go to places such as Panera’s for Friday night supper (accompanied by an hour or so of shopping), but occasionally we go to a “real” restaurant. Not an expensive one, you must understand, because I am emotionally opposed to paying extra money for ambiance. ☺

Tomorrow the only schoolwork I really have to do is read statistics and write a few recommendations. So I will be free to finish writing and editing the latest issue of my zine Ride the Lightning, which must be mailed in another week or so to California. I also need to make copies both of it and of its companion Visions of Paradise, but VoP has been sitting in my drawer at school for two weeks, and I have been too busy to even begin copying it. I do not know what I am going to do if I cannot find time to make copies of it next week.

I have started reading Gardner Dozois’ 2003 edition of Year’s Best Science Fiction. If I do not read it soon, this summer I will have three editions of that massive tome sitting unread on my bookshelf. I really enjoy reading best-of-the-year volumes, especially since I stopped reading most of the regular fiction magazines a decade ago. Now all I read are two semi-annual magazines and three or four annual best-of-the-year volumes which basically distill all the year's best genre fantasy and science fiction for me.

Sorry, but I’ve been so busy lately I have had no time to blog. Remember the snowstorm I was discussing a week ago? It turned into a bitter ice storm, which only earned me a delayed opening the next day, but which caused incredible havoc on our trees. Thursday morning Jean and Mark heard the huge tree besides the driveway cracking, so they moved both boys’ cars from their usual spot under it. That was fortunate, since that afternoon four of the huge branches of the tree crashed onto the driveway. By the time the ice storm ended Saturday, Jean and our neighbor Steve counted more than 20 trees which had fallen in our two yards. The damage was incredible, and our neighbor’s yard still resembles the aftermath of a tornado. As usual, since we live on top of a mountain, we were the only neighborhood around having that type of damage.

As I write this, it is snowing again, with a chance of it turning to ice overnight. Needless to say, we are somewhat anxious about incurring more damage from this storm.

I still have lots of work to do today–2 tests to grade, another test to write, more salary guides to create for our ongoing negotiations, plus a regular visit to the dentist in twenty minutes. I need a rest!

No matter how mature and adult a person is, there are still circumstances in which you become a child again. If you have children of your own, recall how you acted with them when they were pre-schoolers. If you have a pet, don't you often recreate your childhood when playing with them?

And if you happen to be a teacher, how do you act when it is late at night and snow is falling outside, with predictions of more snow and sleet overnight? I don’t know about you, but I get as giddy as my students with dreams of an upcoming snow day. Don’t get me wrong: should nature smile on me with sufficient snow for a day off, I don’t intend to waste it playing video games and chatting online. I have tons of work to do tomorrow, including grading an Honors Algebra 2 project, an A.P. Calculus test, a group of last-minute recommendations students have given me this week, and working on the never-ending salary guides.

If I am in school tomorrow, the workload will continue to grow and the stress level with stay high. But if perchance I have the good fortune to be home, everything will improve substantially, including my sunny disposition. This blog will definitely be continued... ☺

It is amazing how swiftly time flies. When Jean and I got married 25 years ago, her father–who was 67 at the time–warned us that the next 50 years would fly by so fast our heads would spin. We laughed, but now I turn around and notice that half that time has indeed vanished without our realizing it. And doesn’t it seem like just yesterday that everybody was celebrating the start of the new millennium, which was 5 years ago already? Scary.

I have enjoyed my Christmas vacation immensely, especially the activities: celebrating both Christmas and New Year, socializing with friends and family, setting my own work schedule, reading two books, editing an issue of Visions of Paradise. At times like this it is easy to forget about school and envy friends such as Tom Halliwell and Alan Gilbert who retired early and are now free to follow their muses fulltime. Fortunately, I did some online chatting this week with Aishwarya, Rabbit, Lauren, and Kevin, and exchanged email with Manal, all of which reminded me of the joys of spending time with my students, so returning to school tomorrow morning–and awaking at the obscene hour of 5:45am!!!–should not be so traumatic. If only my workload was not so intense this year, I would be much happier...